Oregon to send Forest Fire Teen to N. Korea, hopes he’ll destabilize region

[RFY] — Oregon officials released a press bulletin this morning outlining a plan to send the Vancouver teen to Pyongyang.

“It was a unanimous decision,” commented one official. “I mean he’s a total dick hammer, don’t get me wrong, but he’s also like, the fuckin’ Prefontaine of ruining shit. Why waste natural talent?”

The boy in question, responsible for taking a giant flaming destructo-dump on Eagle Creek, starting a massive forest fire, will be air-dropped over the rogue state later this month.

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